I wasn't sure if I should post about this or not but it is part of our lives.
We lost my Mom, she passed away peacefully on Sunday, September 21, 2008. It was sudden and unexpected. She wasn't sick. She was a young 64, still full of life and not ready to leave us. But I guess God had another plan for Mom.
I won't get into all the details. It's the hardest thing I've had to go through. Watching someone you love slip away is not something I ever thought I would have to do. If felt like I was trapped in a bad dream. I still feel like that, it doesn't get easier, it never goes away, as the days go by the pain is just different. I don't know if I will ever stop crying myself to sleep at night.
My heart is so broken, I don't think it will ever be repaired. I get some comfort, at least that is what I keep telling myself, in saying that now she's an Angel watching over me. Call me selfish but I'd rather her be here with me on earth holding me or scolding me, anything as long as she was still here with me.
For the past couple of days my Sister & I have been at Mom's house packing up her things. Everyone keeps asking, is that hard. No it's not hard, it's just things and It comforts me to be among her things. The hard part will be when everything is gone.
I just don't understand any of it, and mostly I feel anger. I am so mad, why did it happen like this? No warning, no signs, nothing. I keep trying to make some sense out of it but I can't.
So I am telling all of you to please see and hug your loved ones as often as you can, because you never know when it will be your last chance.
The picture above is a favorite picture of my Mom, when she was a bit younger and she was so beautiful. It's a picture of a picture, so that's why it's so fuzzy.
We've received an incredible amount of support from our family and friends and for that I am forever grateful.
3 comments:
Pattie - this is a beautiful post. I am not going to try and give you words of comfort because let's be honest, they would be just that, words my friend. You have every right to feel as heart-broken and angry as you do. You lost the person who gave you life, the person who held you as a child, the person who gave you a sister - such an awesome gift! Love each other and be close and know your Mom is an Angel watching the both of you live your lives. Make her feel proud. I love you girl. Kel
Miss Pattie-may peace come upon you soon. When i heard the news i felt the exact same way-so soon so sudden. But you said it yourself I guess God has his plans. Feel comfort in knowing she wasn't in pain, and that yes she'll be watching over you every step of the way! Take care my girl-and know the tremendous amount of support you have will help to carry you through the days.
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